This article is about French insults that you can use when the moment is just right.

In Monty Python and the Grail there is a scene with a the keeper of a French castle that is misplaced in England. The character has a variety of insults for the cast of Monty Python who come in search of the Holy Grail. The insults range from ‘I fart in your general direction’ to ‘I blow my nose at you’. Neither of these insults really exist in France, but for a laugh you can watch an excerpt of the Monty Python scene here:

Although the article is about insults, we’re going to switch for a few moments to talk about French customs and manners. It’s important to remember that when you spend time in French-speaking countries, you learn to always say bonjour when you first wish to come into contact with somebody.

Say bonjour or bonsoir:
‍1) Before you ask a question to a shopkeeper.
2) Before you tell somebody about your customer service issues. This habit will put you on a better starting point with the French and make it less likely that any insults will be said in the first place

.In addition, when you speak a different language, your mind becomes less sensitized to the gravity of the insults coming from your very own mouth. This means that it is easier for a native English speaker to see French insults as something of a game. It's easy to loose sight of the severity of the insult. So when you learn insults in French, you’ll want to use them carefully. It would be a good idea to first talk to some native French friends about the various French insults you are learning.

Also remember that if you are using an insult with a person of authority, you could get into serious trouble. Not only that, French law considers insults in general to be criminal infractions. That means your insults could lead to somebody heading to the police station to report any incident that takes place. It’s a lot easier to get into trouble in a foreign language than it is to get out of trouble. So tread with caution.

Now that we’ve given our disclaimer, are you ready to learn 15 French insults that are dangerously useful? Let’s get started. Allons-y.
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1. Ta gueule

Why is this an insult?

First we need to look at what’s going on with these two simple words.

French is one of those languages where there is a specific word for mouth when we are talking about a person and a different word for mouth when we are talking about an animal. For a human it’s la bouche, while for an animals it’s la gueule. So that’s the first part of the insult.

The second part is that you probably already know that French has two forms of you: the familiar and the plural/polite. When you use the familiar where you should use the polite, and when you use the animal mouth where you should use the human mouth, you make for a dangerously useful insult. Ta gueule literally means your (familiar) mouth (of an animal). It’s used to say “shut up” in an abrupt and rude way. There is no expression ‘votre bouche’ which would in theory the softer version of the expression.
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2. (Quelle) conasse/connasse, (quel) conard/connard  

These insults are used to say ‘silly bitch’ and ‘stupid bastard’ depending on whether you use the masculine or feminine form. If you add the quelle/quel, you are talking behind the others' back...or talking about them in front of them.
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3. Debile

This French insult is used to say that somebody’s IQ is in the range of 50-70.
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4. (Quel) imbecile.

This is an old one from Latin that meant that somebody didn’t have a supporting stick. It entered the French language and then came into English. So you recognize imbecile as an English insult as well as a French insult.
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5. Pouffiasse, poufiasse

Bimbo or slut.
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6. Tête carrée

This literally means ‘square head’ and you use it to say somebody is obstinate.
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7. Sans-couilles

This literally means without balls and is used to describe a person without courage.
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8. N’importe quoi

When somebody says or does something that you find irrelevant, you can use this one. It means ‘whatever.’ It’s often used to insult institutions and the people in them such as government or bureaucracy.
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9. Dégage. Dégage-toi.

This slang terminology is useful if you want somebody to leave you alone. If you’re being pestered by somebody on the streets of Paris and nothing else seems to get rid of the nuisance, you can try saying either dégage or dégage-toi.
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10. Plouc

This is slang for a peasant. It’s like a country bumpkin or a hick. It originates from the Breton word plou which means Parish or regional jurisdiction.
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11. Moule à merde

This literally means a mussel shell with shit inside. People use it to call somebody an idiot.
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12. Espèce de raté

This expression is used to call somebody an overall failure. You can use the verb rater when you miss something by showing up too late. So you can rater things such as a train, a flight, or a bus. It’s also used when people fail financially and in business.The espèce de…is a very useful way to begin an insult. It’s an easy way for you can add one insult onto another. So many of the insults we’ve used here fit in well. Some examples are: espèce d’imbecile, espèce de conard, espèce de plouc, and espèce de sans couilles.

We already introduced conard/connard as a stupid bastard. A con is a shorter form of this word. So this insult means the king of the stupid bastards.

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13. Roi des cons

We already introduced conard/connard as a stupid bastard. A con is a shorter form of this word. So this insult means the king of the stupid bastards. This insult can mean somebody who is really stupid, or who is unbearable to spend time with because of the stupid things he does.
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14. Lavette

This is literally a dish cloth or some sort of rag that you would use to wipe dishes, clean the countertop. In Switzerland it is a wash cloth, what the French call a gant de toilette. As an insult, this word means somebody lacking energy and courage.
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15. Sent-le-pisse

This literally means to smell like urine. It is an offensive term to say to somebody who is not hygienic, hence of low social standards.

How’s your French? Want to test it out?

Check out this video in French that explains the origin of 10 French insults. If you have a hard time understanding it, you can use the YouTube settings to slow it down. You can also add auto-generated subtitles in French to make it easier to follow the narration.

If you’re lucky, you won’t be hearing these insults any time soon. If you want to be prepared for being insulted in French while in France, check out this article. It offers some data on French insults and some advice for people who you are being insulted while in France. The blog post is from Inspirelle.

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We have 19 French swear words to keep you going if you're looking for more nasty, insulting, rude words in French.