From sports commentators on Univision to literary heavyweights, like Gabriel García Márquez, anyone who’s ever read or heard someone speak Spanish knows how expressive, vibrant and colorful of a language it is. This, of course, extends to Spanish insults.

While it may sounds far-fetched, one the best ways to learn a new language is through insults, curse words and unsavory idioms. This is because words associated with the heights of expression help a language learner get a tangible feel for the culture of those speaking the language they seek to learn; it allows them to access the consciousness of what a group of people often find funny, rude or plain ridiculous.

The same extends to Spanish. Regardless of if you’re learning Spanish using Jumpspeak, or getting Spanish idioms under your belt, the following Spanish insults will both make you laugh and arm you with a few more terms to use with friends and foes.

‍

17 Spanish Insults That Will Have You Laughing Hard

Let's begin.
‍

1. El burro sabe mas que tu! - “Donkeys know more than you!”

If you ask us, this is insulting to donkeys worldwide, which are kind and hardworking animals, but you get the point. In many cultures, people are likened to donkey’s to insult their intelligence and talent. Spanish is no different.
‍

2. Eres tan feo/a que hiciste llorar a una cebolla - “You’re so ugly you made an onion cry”

Given that onions, when cut, can make any rough and tough grown man or woman cry, this is a pretty piercing insult to one’s appearance. However, on a scale of 1 - 10, 1 being not that insulting and 10 being incredibly rude, this is only a 5.
‍

3. La mona aunque se vista de seda, mona se queda – “Although a monkey dresses in silk, it stays a monkey”

This saying is similar to the English idiom, “you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” The gist here is that you can dress something, or someone, up however you want, but at the end of the day, they’re still what they are. In this case, the insult is directed at someone who may not be intelligent, talented or attractive.

4. Me cago en tu madre - “I shit on your mother”

Insulting anyone’s mother, in any language, is highly offensive, which is why Spanish-speakers perfected an almost endless slew of Spanish insults targeted at mothers of friends and foes alike. “I shit on your mother,” doesn’t need any explanation. While we’ve never heard of anyone literally doing this, just the graphic of someone defecating on the mother of another is all you need to start a war.

‍

5. Que te la pique un pollo - “I hope a chicken pecks at your dick”

Have you ever seen a chicken eat or peck at anything? Not only are they relentless, but their sharp beaks poke, poke and poke at bits of food, grains or anything else their hearts desire until it’s ripped to shreds. Wishing this upon the genitalia of another means that you wish them excruciating and mind-numbing pain.

‍

‍
‍

6. Hijo de las mil putas -  “Son of a thousand whores”

Similar to the common English saying, “son of a bitch,” “son of a thousand whores” is that times, well, a thousands. It’s commonly said when someone’s having a rough day, when you becoming angry with someone or just because it’s a great way to let off some steam.

‍

7. Te voy a dar una galleta! - “I’m going to give you a cookie!”

How is “I’m going to give you a cookie?” an insult, you ask? Well, to start, it doesn’t mean that you’re actually going to give someone a cookie. Cookies are often delicious and pleasurable, which wouldn’t be insulting, at all, unless you said you were going to give someone a cookie and didn’t. Here, it means that you’re going to hit someone. You can also use “Te voy a dar una hostia que…” as a way of saying you’re going to give someone a slap so hard that...and fill in the blank.

‍

8. Peinabombillas - “Someone who combs light bulbs”

Weird, right? Peinabombillas is an example of an insult made from a compound verb, which many people, in many languages, enjoy using. Here, peinabombillas means that someone is naive, and, for a lack of a better word, stupid. There’s obviously something wrong with anyone who combs light bulbs. Last time we checked, light bulbs didn’t have hair follicles.
‍

9. Vete a freír espárragos - “Go fry asparagus”

Like “Te voy a dar una galleta,” “Go fry asparagus,” doesn’t sound like a bad deal. For one, we’d assume that the person telling another to fry asparagus has asparagus in their kitchen. For two, asparagus, when lightly seasoned with salt and black pepper, is a delicious way to consume Fiber, vitamin K and loads of asparagus. But here, it means “go fuck yourself.” This supposedly goes back to old times when asparagus was only boiled, and frying it was viewed as a pointless way to waste time.

‍

10. Que te folle un pez! - “I hope you get fucked by a fish!”

Here we see a prime example of Spanish-speakers’ creativity when it come to Spanish insults. This is graphic, potentially impossible, depending on how you define a fish, and crude. It means, well, it means a lot of things, but you can read it as “screw you.”
‍

11. Mamón - “Suckling”

In English, a “suckling,” is a child or animal that sucks the teat of their mother until they move onto hard food. Here, it means that someone is a jerk. A pretty mild insult if you ask us, but we wanted to cool down the heat in here after all of those wild and graphic ones.
‍

12. Pollas en vinagre - “Dicks in vinegar”

Okay, time to turn the heat back on. “Dicks in vinegar” means “bullshit.” As in, something is bullshit or you’re calling bullshit on what someone is saying.

‍

13. ¡Métetelo por el culo! - “Stick it up your ass!”

“Stick it up your ass!” is similar to the common English insult of, “up yours!” Exactly what is going up is always a hot topic of discussion, but where it’s going isn’t. This saying is basically saying, “Fuck you!” to someone in a less direct, but possibly more forceful, way.
‍

14. Mamahuevo - “Cocksucker”

Like peinabombillas, this is a compound verb combining mamar (to suck) and huevo (egg or testicle). Try not to say this to anyone’s actual face, as it’ll likely result in physical harm. You can use it when screaming at someone on the highway, or at the television when your favorite athlete misses a catch.
‍

15. ¡No seas gilipollas! - “Don’t be a dick!”

The word gilipollas can either mean “dickhead,” “asshole,” “douchebag,” or a handful of other derogatory names for someone you don’t like, or like and currently plan to insult. This one is pretty straightforward and should be said to anyone acting like a, well, you know.

‍

16. No saber ni papa de algo - “Not to know even a potato about something”

If you ask us, this isn’t a great insult. Potatoes are often heavy and substantial, and you need to potatoes to make french fries, which are delicious. So, to know “not even a potato” about something isn’t all that insulting. It’s often used as a way of saying someone doesn’t even have a clue or idea about something.
‍

17. Creerse la última coca-cola en el desierto - “You think you’re the last coke in the desert”

For our final insult, we had to end it with one that captured as much piercing wit, brevity and imagination as possible. It’s not the most lewd, crude or rude insult, but it’s one that will penetrate the depths of anyone who think they’re the reincarnation of Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr., or Muhammad Ali.
‍

Go forth, and use your Spanish insults (but carefully)!

You’re now armed with more than a handful of hilarious Spanish insults to either memorize for a rainy day, or learn so that you’ll be better prepared in case anyone ends up throwing one of them your way. Be sure to test a few out with people who you think will find them equally funny, and unlikely to give you a black eye.

ps - learn how to actually say these Spanish insults in real-life conversations. You can download Jumpspeak and try it free.

‍