We've all been there.We set a goal to: get in shape, start a passion project, write a book, etc.The excitement builds up when we first get started. We dedicate to stick to a routine to write, workout, or make phone calls every day, week, and month. Then the reality of the struggle appears.After a while, the excitement fades away. We no longer feel the same level of dedication to stick to the same routine every single day. We feel like giving up.Research from the University of Pennsylvania has shown that grit is the characteristic linked most closely to success.Here's what you can do today to develop more grit when you feel like giving up...
Nothing is permanent
No matter how difficult it gets, nothing is ever permanent. That discomfort from your job, the workout you're enduring, the location you live in -- it's all temporary.We live in a world that's far better than it has ever been in history through technology, science, and economic standards. But we've become so accustomed to expecting immediate results in our lives, that our level of tolerance have diminished over time.Just remember that your workout will be finished in less than an hour, your report will be completed by tomorrow morning, and no matter how hard the week gets, the weekend is right around the corner.Have a different perspective. Look past the moment you're in, and remember that everything is temporary.
Don't set out to build a wall
In an interview with Charlie Rose, Will Smith laid out how he gets over this feeling of giving up:"You don't set out to build a wall. You don't say 'I'm going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that's ever been built.' You don't start there. You say, 'I'm going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brickcan be laid. You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall."When we set out to build a wall, instead of one brick at a time, our brain isn't able to make the connection on how we can get there. This is we feel overwhelmed and analysis paralysis that prevents us from ever getting started.
A study published this spring in Nature Neuroscience used neuroimaging to reveal how this happens. When two ideas compete with each other, the brain rallies inhibitory mechanisms to its aid, suppressing the distracting idea.
"That's been one of my mantras - focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains." -Steve Jobs
Research also shows that it can affect our level of happiness. Barry Schwartz calls it the 'Paradox of Choice', when having too much choice will only decrease our happiness level over time.
This doesn't mean you don't have a vision for what you want. Having an end goal that you can visualize is essential. But the way you get there is to lay one brick at a time.
Focus on the feeling of the achievement
Anything worth doing is going to be challenging.To develop the type of body you want, you're going to have to endure pain and patience.To build the business you want, it'll take everything you've got.To have a relationships that lasts a lifetime, you're going to have to make sacrifices.But the feeling of achievement in the end will always outweigh the challenge you experience in the moment.
"I miss that sensation of a small achievement feeling like a really big deal."-Gavin DeGraw
When you feel like giving up in the moment, focus your attention on the positive emotions you will feel when you've achieved your goal.This shift in perspective can be the difference between quitting and persisting through until the end.
Just show up
Seeking perfection is the fastest route to giving up too early, or worse, never getting started.Instead, focus on the process. Focus on just showing up, every single day.Is it our job to be at our absolute best when we show up? I doubt it.Our job is to show up and do the work. Everything else will take care of itself.
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